The human condition is a term we are all too familiar with and yet something we so vaguely understand. My perception of the human condition lies deeper than this concept of behaviour being innate; I feel behaviour is largely influenced by society. There are many theories that support my argument such as the Construction Theory or the Concept of Hegemony which explain how the media and the channels we consume define us. It gives a new perspective to the saying “you are what you eat.” Somewhere along the line it must have changed to “you are what you consume.” What I am trying to say is that every little piece of information we come into contact with is taken in and processed by our brain. From this information we learn what is deemed socially acceptable, or “normal”, which can come from any platform. Mediums such as television or newspaper where we find the “hard news“ can be questioned because what they show us is never really the whole truth or full story. They can show us certain bits of valid facts, but just enough so that we develop the perceptions that they want. Propaganda much? Does this mean that even our own personal thoughts are being influenced and they are in fact someone else’s thoughts?
The man who was charged guilty for the assassination of Martin Luther King was named James Earl Ray; he was sentenced to a 99 year imprisonment. He died in prison for the murder he committed. This is a boring ending to the story that is told of Martin Luther King, a hero who was murdered, and it ends there because anything else would change by perception. The theories that support my views are a bit more complex and after stewing on them for a few years I can now say I understand them. They speak of Operant Conditions and use Skinners lab rats to give us examples but I will explain this from a younger, new age perspective.
My understanding comes from various moments of truth, some of which come from being single. This many sound weird but it seems I become “fuzzy” when I am in a relationship and I pour all my energy into the other person and not enough on what matters. Everything becomes clearer, more digestible, and I find I can see beauty in things that I was to occupied to notice. Enjoying my single life, I decided to watch a movie and what happened to be playing was a movie called
Love Actually. The more I watched the movie, the movie I began to see deeper meanings behind what was happening. Picture Hollywood’s Keira Knightley (playing Juliet) who is a newly wed to Chiwetel Ejiofor (who plays Peter), answering the doorbell. To Peter it sounds like Christmas carollers but actually it is Andrew Lincoln (who plays Mark) who has a radio that is playing Christmas caroller music. He is there to declare his love for Juliet by showing her ridiculously giant cards that, in a series of cute and romantic gestures, express his true love her for. Once finished, he walks away triumphant that he acted on his feelings and accepting his defeat. Now, because Juliet is depicted as beautiful it is deemed acceptable what takes place next. Filled with emotions and flattery she runs up to Mark (even though she is a newly-wed) and kisses him. It does not matter that she is married or that she is JUST married but all that matters is that she is beautiful and she can do what she wants. This can explain why the pretty girls are always so mean; they can do what they want because they are attractive. The same goes for attractive guys who feel they can use their looks to get away with anything.
This analysis that I was creating in front of me as this movie played, I realised, goes deeper than looks. Marriage is another concept that has been drilled into our heads. How many movies end with the couple getting married and living happily ever after? Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Snow White? This goes into our child hood where as girls we would play dress up and pretend to get married or find our hero. Boys, however, were killing each other, testing out if they can jump off the roof and land on their feet but nowhere and no way were they rescuing their damsel in distress and living happily ever after. At what age I do not know, but somewhere along the line girls are taught that marriage is the answers to all our problems, it is a goal we strive for; when they date a guy they look at him and ask themselves is this the guy I can call my husband. I am no different after being barely single for most of the teenage life; I am newly single and although I am happier than I have even been in a relationship, something inside me keeps telling me that I should be in a relationship, that I am miserable because I am single. When men date I think that is the last thing on their mind and they live with the simpler thoughts such as “I really like her, I hope that she likes me.” Men look at marriage as a prison sentence and in no way look forward to it like woman do. Mel Gibson, a terminal bachelor, is an icon for some men who envy his single lifestyle. So from what I can see, men fear married life but as of recently I am also afraid of getting married or even getting back into a relationship.
A divorced woman in her fifties walked into a store (where I was promoting) and I approached her. She listened to what I had to say and engaged with me, we even went off topic about a party she was throwing. She took some of my suggestions, bought my product and was on her way. This woman was so friendly and chatty with everyone but “chatty” at that age is seen as desperate, which is not even close to the truth. This woman must feel like she is missing something and does not realise her value (she has so much to offer) because she is still willing to try new things. Once you get married it is another story and women have reached their goals so you no longer have to impress anyone. The same day a married woman around the age of fifty walked past my stand. I approached her and her husband; what happened next was all too familiar- the husband would listen to what I say and the wife would not be interested. The husband will then try the sample and then only will the wife try it once the husband has convinced her. All this lady had to say was, “I don’t like it,” even though she had never tried the product. She did not give my product a chance and was not interested despite her husband’s feeble attempts to get the drink down her throat. I am afraid of becoming like that and this trap becomes all too easy when you are so comfortable with life. One thing I have learned is that comfort does not mean happiness.
All I am saying is look at what you are doing and question if you are doing it because you want to do it or because you are on autopilot and doing what comes “naturally”. I have always lived my life fearing that I am wasting time not experiencing the right things, I have always know that there is more to what I know. Happiness is not a goal, is it a day-to-day decision that you have to work on to feel. It is not those moments of pure ecstasy where epic music is playing in the background, it is a moment that makes you smile and pause even though life is still moving forward, and that is okay because that moment is worth your time. If you want to experience life then it should be based on your own thoughts, your own rules and not some unknown power that is trying to create drones. “If you always do what you've always done you’ll always get what you've always got.” Wise words by Henry Ford.
